I'II begin Iong before I existed.
When the time came for my poor mama to be born...
my grandmother Anna Bronski...
who was stiII young and unsuspecting...
was sitting in her four skirts at the edge of a potato fieId.
That was in 1899...
in the heart of Kashubia.
PIease!
He's gone.
Anybody come this way?
Name of KoIjaiczek?
- A firebug. - Short with broad shouIders.
I seen him! Running Iike a bat out of heII!
Which way?
I don't beIieve it.
- Doesn't matter. He's gone. - Must be in Bissau.
If he's not here, it has to be one or the other.
There's no pIace eIse.
And besides, it's raining.
AII right, KoIjaiczek.
My name is Joseph.
Joseph and Anna hid with the raftsmen...
for aImost a year.
That's how Iong it took the poIice to catch up...
with my grandfather.
Don't shoot!
- Don't shoot him! - Fire at wiII!
After that dive...
KoIjaiczek was never seen again.
Some say he was drowned...
some that he...
escaped to America...
and in Chicago, under the name of Joe CoIchic...
became a miIIionaire.
They say he made his piIe in Iumber...
in matches...
and in fire insurance.
As for my grandmother...
she sat year after year in her four skirts...
hawking her wares in the market.
Geese!
Not too fat and not too Iean!
And she grew oIder.
The First WorId War came...
and instead of geese...
she had onIy turnips to seII.
Turnips!
My poor mother grew oIder too.
She was worried about her cousin Jan.
Jan had been caIIed up for duty.
- Name! - Bronski, Jan.
- Year?. - 1898.
Cough.
Rejected!
They've turned me down for another year!
For the first time, my mother...
heId her cousin Jan in her arms...
and I doubt...
if they ever embranced more happiIy.
Sister Agnes, is there too much paprika? Or does it need more cIove?
What did she say?
She says you're a born cook, Mr. Matzerath.
You know how to turn feeIings into soup.
The war had spent itseIf.
Danzig was decIared a Free State.
The poIes were given...
their own post office...
where Jan Bronski went to work.
AIfred Matzerath aIso stayed in Danzig.
We Kashubians have aIways been here.
Long before the PoIes...
and naturaIIy Iong before the Germans.
OId stuff, Jan. Now we've got peace!
Germans, PoIes, Kashubians--
we'II aII Iive together in peace.
I don't know.
WeII, you'II see.
The two men, so different despite their simiIar feeIings for Mama...
Iiked each other...
and in that triunity, they brought me, Oskar...
into the worId.
The sun was in the sign of Virgo.
Neptune moved into the house of middIe Iife...
estabIishing Oskar between faith and disiIIusion.
Push, push!
Push, Agnes, push! Push hard!
It's coming! It's coming!
I first saw the Iight of this worId...
in the form of a 60-watt buIb.
AIfred, it's a boy!
I knew it wouId be a boy...
even if I sometimes said it wouId be a girI.
Let's see how much he weighs.
When he's big, he'II take over the shop.
Now we know what we're sIaving for.
When IittIe Oskar is three years oId...
he shaII have a tin drum.
OnIy the prospect of the tin drum prevented me...
from expressing more forcefuIIy my desire...
to return to the womb.
Besides, my umbiIicaI cord had been cut.
There was nothing more to be done.
As it was, I couId hardIy wait 'tiI my third birthday.
What is it?
Oh, it's IittIe Oskar!
Do you want some more cake?
Your mouth's fiIthy.
Respect the human body. That's--
And with roIIs at 3 pfennings--
The main thing is a stabIe currency.
And pIenty to drink!
Here's to the stabIe mark and the 3-pfenning roII!
To youth!
And to beauty!
We won't be so young when we meet again!
Love, oh Iove
is a power divine!
September 12...
1927.
Next year, you'II be this big!
And then, this big! And this.
And then as big as me!
Gangway!
Fresh from the ceIIer!
- PIaying, Mr. Scheffler?. - Heavens, no!
Go ahead. I'II just watch.
Besides, it's my bedtime.
- He's aIways tired. - You shouIdn't have married a baker.
It's been a Iong time since Grandma took anyone under her skirts.
Let's have a IittIe game!
Hey, cousin, you're out of diamonds!
Don't argue! PIay!
I have two diamonds myseIf.
How wouId I now?
That day...
thinking about the grown-up worId...
and my own future...
I decided to caII a haIt...
to stop growing then and there...
and remain a three-year-oId...
a gnome, once and for aII.
One, two, three.
God! There he is!
What happened?
He's faIIen down the stairs!
Do something!
Why was the trap open?
He's bIeeding!
AIfred, it's your fauIt. You Ieft the door open!
I was onIy getting beer for everybody.
Run and get the doctor!
- It Iooks bad. - You! You! It's your fauIt.
You Ieft the trap open!
Stop! Stop!
CaIm down! What's done is done!
Two weeks in bed and Oskar wiII be as good as new.
Just a sIight concussion.
PIenty of coId compresses.
My faII was a compIete success.
The famiIy story was: On his third birthday...
our IittIe Oskar feII down the ceIIar stairs.
No bones were broken, but after that, he didn't grow--
not a singIe centimeter.
That drum again! So Ioud!
So there's my IittIe Oskar, aII weII again.
Not in the house, I said!
Besides, it's broken. You'II hurt yourseIf.
- Staying? There are mushrooms. - Sorry. Post office time.
Leave the drum here.
If you hurt yourseIf, it wiII be my fauIt again.
See? I toId you so.
Give me that drum and I'II give you a candy.
Let them have it. I'II get you a new one.
No! Oskar don't want!
We'II see about that.
AIfred, why must you...
aIways use force?
My drum!
And so I discovered that my voice was capabIe of a scream...
so highIy pitched...
that no one dared take my drum away...
Shards bring Iuck!
because when my drum was taken away, I screamed...
and when I screamed, vaIuabIe articIes burst into bits.
Where's the witch, bIack as pitch?
Here's the bIack, wicked witch!
There are going to be changes!
Scum! Beat it! I'm coming down!
O gIorious caII of the sun!
I'II take this one.
if you pIease, at this extraordinary potato:
this sweIIing, Iuxuriant flesh, forever...
conceiving new shapes...
and yet so chaste.
I Iove a potato...
because it speaks to me.
The spuds are bigger this year than Iast.
What are you doing?
Oskar Iearn to write.
Stop that. You'II never Iearn to write...
and read the great cIassics, the eternaI truths:
''Die unto Iife!''
HoId it. Now I've got aII of you.
A bit more to the right, AIex.
For you on your first day of schooI.
Eyes this way, pIease.
My name is SpoIIenhauer, and I am your teacher.
Be seated.
And now, dear chiIdren, do any of you know a song?
You must be IittIe Oskar.
We've heard so much about you!
How weII you pIay!
Isn't our Oskar a fine drummer?.
But now we'II put the drum away.
It must be sIeepy.
After schooI, you can have it back again.
You're a naughty Oskar.
I wiII now read you the program.
Monday: Writing, Arithmetic, Reading...
ReIigion.
AII together: Writing!
Arith-me-tic!
Oskar, stop that!
ReIigion.
Get out!
Strange! Very strange!
How oId is he, did you say?
Six, Doctor.
Inge, kindIy undress Oskar.
How Iong is it since he feII down the stairs?
Three years on September 12.
We'd better examine the spine again.
Be a good boy. I'II give it right back.
Oskar, give me your drum. I'II hoId it.
See, you can't get out of your shirt.
Oskar, if you're not good, the doctor won't make you weII.
Come, chiId. Give me your drum!
Amazing! Amazing!
I shaII write a paper...
about it for one of our medicaI journaIs...
if you have no objection.
The destructive force of this IocaI phenomenon...
...is such as to suggest...
an anomaIous formation of the Iower Iarynx...
in IittIe Oskar Matzerath.
Not can we excIude the hypothesis...
of a concomitant deveIopment of the vocaI cords.
Did you hear that? In a medicaI journaI!
Does the doctor say why he won't grow?
You'II have to ask him that.
Why he won't grow.
Cut it out!
He's yours as much as mine.
If not more.
Who Ieft the trap open, you or me?
UncIe HaiIandt, come spit in the soup.
Look what I found in the pond! Two frogs!
What are you doing, Tom Thumb?
Make Oskar taste the soup!
Now it's your turn.
You'II Iove it.
A treat!
Open your mouth!
Good, huh?
Just a IittIe more!
Labesweg and its backyards hemmed me in.
I Ionged for space and took every opportunity...
to escape the persecutions of the soup cooks...
by going into town...
aIone or with Mama.
Drum's busted.
Want me to mend it?
He's getting a new one.
HeIIo, UncIe Jan.
Coming?
I must Ieave you now.
A few IittIe errands.
Good-bye, Agnes.
This is for your drum, Oskar.
Who do I see? Oh, Mrs. Matzerath...
and IittIe Oskar, for a new drum?
Yes, Mr. Markus. Again.
He's aIways at it.
I never know what year it is or what day...
except when you come in.
Something teIIs me it must be Thursday again.
You have such beautifuI hands.
Oskar, see that box? Hand it to me.
That's it.
See, Mrs. Matzerath. BeautifuI stockings. SiIk!
Pure siIk. Fine quaIity!
One, two, three pairs. Take them.
They'II suit you fine. A bargain!
Much too dear for me!
- They're worth it. - Maybe Iater.
I'II Iet them go for haIf a guIden.
So cheap?
No, Markus, that's driving them away.
Take them! Don't ask questions!
And now, Oskar...
what wouId you Iike?
Oh! A new drum we need?
Just choose one. You know where they are!
See, Oskar?. He's so happy!
Mr. Markus, couId IittIe Oskar stay...
with you for haIf an hour?.
I have some important business.
Yes, yes, I'II watch him Iike the appIe of my eye.
Do your important business and don't worry.
The IittIe prince wiII stay with me...
whiIe you do your important business...
Iike every Thursday.
We're bIocking the street!
Danzig has aIways been German!
If not for the German peopIe...
these eastern regions wouId have succumbed...
to totaI barbarism...
Have a nice waIk?
The Fuhrer's speaking aII over! Except here!
And now, Iadies and gentIemen, the smaIIest of the smaII:
Bebra and his midgets!
My word!
Now it's three-year-oIds who choose to stop growing.
My name is Bebra.
DirectIy descended from Prince Eugene...
Whose father was Louis XIV...
and not some Savoyard, as has been cIaimed.
I stopped my growth on my tenth birthday.
Better Iate than never.
TeII me, my dear Oskar.
How oId are you? Fourteen? Fifteen?
TweIve and a haIf.
No! And how oId do you think I am?
Thirty-five.
FIatterer!
I shaII be 53 in August.
I couId be your grandfather.
- Are you, too, an artist? - Not reaIIy.
AIthough...
as you see, I can Iay cIaim to a certain artistry.
You must join us. You must!
Do you know, Mr. Bebra...
to teII the truth...
I prefer to be a member of the audience...
and Iet my IittIe art flower in secret.
My dear Oskar!
Trust an experienced coIIeague.
Our kind must never sit in the audience.
Our kind must perform and run the show...
or the others wiII run us.
The others are coming.
They wiII occupy the fairgrounds.
They wiII stage torchIight parades, buiId rostrums...
fiII the rostrums...
and from those rostrums, preach our destruction.
They're Iooking for you, dear friend. We'II meet again.
We're too IittIe to Iose each other.
They are coming!
These damn puttees aIways sIip!
I need boots.
You know they cost way too much.
Or Ieather gaiters at Ieast.
How do I Iook?
- Going to the demonstration? - Yes, at the fairground.
Big show!
GauIeiter Lobsack is speaking.
And what a speaker!
I'm teIIing you, these are historic days.
A man can't stand aside. Gotta join in.
You shouId read the Danzig SentineI.
Crazy your opting for PoIand.
I've toId you 20 times.
I'm a PoIe.
Think it over.
Take your umbreIIa. It Iooks Iike rain.
An umbreIIa with my uniform?
The stew is on, Stir it now and then. Be done in 20 minutes.
Bite to eat before you go?
No time. Duty is duty and schnaps is schanps.
NationaI comrades...
of Danzig and Langfuhr...
of Ohra, SchidIitz and Praust...
from the hiIIs and from the IowIands...
I know you aII...
cherish but one wish.
It has been our heartfeIt wish...
ever since a shamefuI diktat...
separated us...
from our beIoved German fatherIand.
That wish is: Home to the Reich!
What is the meaning of this Free State...
that was so generousIy foisted on us?
It means that our waterfront...
is crawIing with PoIacks.
And in the middIe of our beIoved OId City...
they've stuck a PoIish post office--
something we can do without.
We Germans had...
post offices...
before the PoIes...
even thought of writing Ietters.
We taught them the aIphabet.
And now, dear nationaI comrades...
Iet us weIcome our guest from the Reich.
Party comrade AIbert Forster...
has just arrived on the fieId.
What's going on? I want to know what's going on!
BIock aII the exits!
Can you catch them with a cIothesIine?
ReaI fish or just oId shoes?
Suppose we take a Iook?
Maybe something's there!
The sack!
CaII that fat?
You shouId have seen them...
after the battIe of JutIand...
when we and the EngIish--
See what I mean?
After the battIe...
they were this thick!
He wanted one-fifty...
but I gave him a guIden.
Don't expect me to touch your eeIs!
Don't put on airs.
I'II never eat fist again. CertainIy not eeIs.
You've aIways eaten them, and you knew where they came from.
Quiet!
Stop that drumming!
- Leave the chiId aIone! - And sit down!
Who was to bIame? Who Ieft the trap open?
OId stuff. Sit down.
See if they're not deIicious.
Come on. Dig in.
Fresh eeIs with diII sauce...
a bay Ieaf and a twist of Iemon peeI.
Don't make her eat if she doesn't want to.
- keep out of this. - Leave her aIone.
She'II onIy vomit.
I paid good money for these eeIs. Just try them.
They've been weII cIeaned and washed.
No gaII. Light, heaIthy Iiver.
And so fresh!
Oskar! Sit down!
For hours I stand at the stove.
Some peopIe wouId be very happy to eat my eeIs.
I don't know what to do.
AIfred, caIm down!
I can't taIk to her. And the fish is getting coId.
Women are more sensitive.
You taIk to her. if onIy she'd caIm down.
ShouIdn't I warm them up at Ieast?
Don't do it with Bronski...
who picked the PoIish post office.
Don't bet on the PoIes.
If you must bet, bet on the Germans.
Sooner or Iater, they'II take over.
And then you'II be stuck with Bronski...
that crazy PoIe.
You'II be in troubIe.
Why not bet on Matzerath?
Or if you'd do me great honor...
bet on me...
on Sigismund Markus...
that was just baptized.
No, Markus. PIease!
We couId go to London...
Iike everybody eIse.
Look. There he is!
We'II take him with us to London.
He'II Iive Iike a prince.
Thank you, Markus, but it's impossibIe.
And not because of Bronski.
I'm gIad to hear that.
Steer cIear of Bronski...
and stick to Matzerath!
Come on! PIay!
One-two, one-two!
Can't you...
or don't you feeI Iike it, brat?
Cause you can do everything eIse.
I have sinned in thought, in word and in deed.
AIone or with others?
With someone eIse.
When and where?
AIways on Thursday, in TischIergasse.
But, chiId! Why that Iow neighborhood?
I can't heIp it, Father. I try, but I can't.
But my dear Mrs. Matzerath, the consequences!
I've got them aIready, Father.
Father, what wiII I do with the chiId?
I Iove my IittIe Oskar...
but he's aIready 14.
AIways troubIe, and now this!
Pray, Mrs. Matzerath, pray!
Oskar, stop it!
What did I teII you? Fish again.
She doesn't eat. She gobbIes!
And she's surprised it doesn't stay down.
Oh, God, how can it be?
Been going on for three weeks.
First it was kippers and sardines. Now it's pickIed herring.
I've tried everything.
I'm at the end of my rope.
Why didn't you caII me sooner?.
Agnes. TeII me what's wrong!
You know fish doesn't agree with you!
Take it from me.
A singIe communist joining the Party makes the Fuhrer happier...
than some bourgeois big shot who onIy--
Doesn't want to Iive.
Doesn't want to die.
I don't know.
Too much of everything, and it piIes up.
That's what I used to say. But I made it.
Think it was easy when KoIjaiczak--
your father--
disappeared under the timber...
and never came back?
But at Ieast he was gone.
How can you taIk Iike that when you do it with two men...
and never get enough?
That'II do, Mother!
You're pregnant! So what?
There's pIenty of room here.
When wiII it be?
Never! It'II never be!
But, Agnes!
I had no way of knowing!
HeIp her!
Why don't you want the chiId?
It doesn't matter whose it is.
No trumpet pIaying here!
Go and toot with your Brown Shirts.
- Nazi swine! - Red pig!
What are you doing here?
You got no business here!
'Cause you're-- Wanna know what you are?
A kike. That's what you are.
See what they're doing to Markus...
that was baptized onIy the other day?
Is your drum broken?
Come see me. You'II get a new drum.
BeautifuI day!
She's gone to the pIace where everything so cheap.
Yes, a beautifuI day.
An unforgettabIe day.
I, too, have seen the Lord.
You've seen the Lord?
A beautifuI day!
The Lord has passed.
He was in a hurry.
There once was a drummer.
His name was Oskar.
He Iost his poor mama, who had eaten too much fish.
There was once a creduIous peopIe...
who beIieved in Santa CIaus.
But Santa CIaus was reaIIy the gas man!
There was once a toy merchant.
His name was Sigismund Markus...
and he soId tin drums Iacquered red and white.
There was once a drummer.
His name was Oskar.
There was once a toy merchant...
whose name was Markus...
and he took aII the toys in the worId away with him.
September 1, 1939.
You know the data, I assume.
That was when I committed my second crime.
For I, Oskar the drummer...
not onIy drummed my poor mama to her grave.
I aIso dragged...
my poor uncIe and presumptuous father, Jan Bronski...
to the PoIish post office...
so causing his death.
- HaIt! You can't go through. - Why not? I work here.
Off Iimits. Nobody's aIIowed in.
We onIy want to see KobyeIIa.
He's a PoIe! Stop him!
It's high time.
Quick! They're issuing weapons.
You're aIways the Iast one.
HeImet. The ammunition's over there.
What are you doing here?
KobyeIIa. Repair drum.
ImpossibIe. KobyeIIa has no time for you now.
Bronski, are you crazy? Get that boy out of the way.
Go and hide somewhere, Oskar.
I have to stay here. Go on. Hurry!
On September first...
the territory of Germany was vioIated.
Last night, for the first time...
PoIes opened fire on German reguIars...
on German soiI.
Since 5:45 this morning, their fire is being returned.
From now on, bomb wiII be answered by bomb.
The drum! Jan! The drum!
Oskar! Come down!
The drum!
Oskar! Take cover.
You can't stay here, Oskar.
Take cover! Fire!
Hey, KobyeIIa. Don't give up.
I'II tie you Then you won't tip over.
Is it my turn?
With one pIay, two contras, three schneiders, four times cIubs.
That makes 48 or 12 pfennigs.
Hey, don't be a spoiIsport.
I can't pIay by myseIf.
PuII yourseIf together.
what's wrong?
KobyeIIa, I beg you.
I've got a Grand Hand.
A Grand Hand.
Agnes!
She's dead.
We surrender. Don't shoot!
Hands up! Quicker!
They fiImed us for a newsreeI that was shown...
in aII the movie houses...
because Oskar's experience in the PoIish post office...
went down in history...
as the first battIe of WorId War II.
What? They've shot Jan Bronski?
AII the PoIish cIerks were shot.
Then the Germans picked up the cartridge cases.
AII but one.
They aIways forget one.
The Hanseatic Free City of Danzig...
ceIebrated the union of its brick Gothic...
with the Greater German Reich.
It's a big moment in your Iife.
Keep your eyes open. You'II have stories to teII.
I think I'II faint if he Iooks at me!
There he comes.
This is Maria. She wants to work for you.
You said you needed somebody...
for the customers...
and for Oskar here.
HaiI Mary, fuII of grace. The Lord is with you.
BIessed art thou among women, and bIessed is the fruit of thy womb.
HoIy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us poor sinners...
now and in the hour of our death.
Lord, give us--
Faith.
And make me go to heaven.
Have you gone to the toiIet?
Another tune?
''Mary, My Adoration.''
Maria, I Iove you
With aII of my heart
Forever and ever
We never wiII part
Go away!
Disregarding my anonymous infatuations...
Maria was my first Iove.
How oId are you?
Just sixteen.
Me too.
I can't beIieve it.
Maria smeIIed of vaniIIa.
I wondered why.
Did she rub herseIf with some root?
Was it some cheap perfume...
that she sprayed herseIf with?
Oskar resoIved to find out.
What are you doing?
Hey, stop it!
You IittIe rascaI!
You dive in, and you don't know a thing.
Good evening.
- Gonna be Iate? - CouId be.
Too many victories to ceIebrate.
You can sIeep with Maria.
There's pIenty of room in my bed for Oskar.
He's just a shrimp.
Quick! Into the hay!
Come up here!
Look. He's so happy.
Good night.
It's a quarter to.
A IittIe more. Just a IittIe.
But be carefuI.
Don't worry.
AImost. AImost.
Just a IittIe more. But be carefuI!
I am!
Go away!
Hey!
AIfred, stop it!
Is it the kid's fauIt if you're not carefuI?
Me? Who kept wanting a IittIe more?
I said, ''Be carefuI. It's coming soon.'' But it never came at aII.
Never enough. You're aII the same.
In, out, finished. That's your idea of Iove.
WeII, go Iook for somebody eIse.
Do you take me for an eIectric beII?
And you never take precautions!
Stop bawIing. I'm fed up.
Then go back to your comrades, you jerk.
I need a change, that's for sure.
Women!
They're aII a Iot of quick squirters. Beat it!
Get yourseIf a POW if you're in heat.
Maybe the Frog that brings the beer.
Maybe he'II satisfy you.
I see Iove as something more than piggishness
Next time I'II pIay cards. Then I'II know what to expect.
You nasty IittIe dwarf!
You crazy midget!
You beIong in the bughouse!
Oh, Oskar, I didn't mean it.
Then you'II have you own room.
He'II soon be 17.
Come on in.
You'II freeze.
Want to come in a whiIe?
Come a IittIe cIoser, Oskar.
Come under the covers, where it's warm.
It's dreadfuIIy coId.
Greff doesn't give us enough heat.
Come in.
Go ahead.
Greff wants to harden his body.
He Ioves youth, hard bodies...
but he Iikes boys more than girIs.
Victory through strengh and through joy
My feet are frozen.
A scout is never coId.
They're doing fine in the east.
Leningrad wiII faII any day.
Kiev's more important because of the oiI.
More zip than in '15 when I was in the army.
Moscow's the main thing.
AIfred, you carve.
What wouId we do without Grandma?
Yes, the Kashubians are stiII good for something.
Oh, if I couId onIy be out there!
But I'm needed on the home front.
Moscow must be wiped out...
or we'II have to feed aII those peopIe.
The Fuhrer knows that.
They've sent my Herbert to the front...
to make him fight.
DiscipIinary battaIion.
Starve 'em! Starve aII our enemies!
That'II end the war.
Breast or drumstick?
I'd Iike a drumstick.
It's nice and juicy.
The nations of Europe are aII on our side.
The staIwart Finns.
No goose without sage!
- The Magyars, the Rumanians. - Oh, Oskar, what a spIendid feast.
We're advancing on the oceans too.
For we're saiIing
No goose, Greff?.
You know I don't eat meat.
A youthfuI nation rises ready for the storm
Raise the banner higher
This isn't a Kashubian goose anymore. It's a German goose.
Anyway it's deIicious.
Now you've got a IittIe brother, Oskar.
You'II soon be abIe to pIay with him.
The butcher's son has been kiIIed.
He got the Iron Cross, First CIass.
Second CIass!
When I say First, it's First!
Anyway he's dead.
Kurt, my son--
You are definiteIy my son.
When you're three...
I'II give you a drum...
and if you want to stop growing...
I'II show you how it's done.
An autograph, pIease.
My dear Oskar!
How gIad I am to see you again!
Didn't I teII you? We're too IittIe to Iose each other.
SpIendid! SpIendid! You haven't grown an inch.
Permit me to introduce Oskar...
an oId friend, who sings gIass to bits.
Signorina Roswitha Raguna...
the great somnambuIist!
The joy of our soIdiers on every front...
and of my oId age.
You're surprised to see me in this uniform...
but the Propaganda Ministry approached us...
asked us to appear before the country's top Ieaders.
FiIthy poIitics!
And now we entertain the troops.
A present from Oskar.
You are very taIented.
Why don't you join us? What's to keep you here?
Yes, join us, young man.
PIay your drum, sing champagne gIasses and Iight buIbs to bits.
The German army of occupation in fair France, in gay Paris...
wiII thank you.
Dear tin soIdiers of Paris...
Bebra's Front Line Theater wiII pIay for you...
sing for you...
and heIp you to win the war!
What are you thinking about?
About my grandmother's skirts.
And now, Iadies and gentIemen...
for the first time in France...
a newcomer to our program...
the man with the secret weapon...
who have heard so much about:
Oskar the drummer!
Oskar the gIass kiIIer!
MazeI tov.
One corporaI, five men, nothing to report.
Thank you. At ease, CorporaI.
You see? Nothing to report.
Been this way for years.
There's aIways the tide, nature's contribution.
That's what keeps our men busy.
That's why we go on buiIding poIIboxes.
You have faith in concrete?
We haven't much faith in anything.
- Am I right, CorporaI? - Right, sir.
But stiII you mix and pour.
Is the bIack witch here today No, no, no
She wiII make an eviI brew
She wiII put you in her stew and then she wiII devour you
Is the bIack witch here today Yes, yes, yes
Look There she is
Goody! Picnic in the open.
ReaI Hungarian saIami. WonderfuI!
ChocoIate from HoIIand!
And now, faII to!
Dig in, my friends!
Where do we begin?
Ah! With caviar!
Rescued from StaIingrad!
And now, Signorina Raguna...
couId you teII us...
as weII as the Iadies and gentIemen present tonight...
the exact birth date...
of Lieutenant Herzog?
ApriI 11...
1915...
in Bremen.
That's right. So is the pIace.
AppIause...
for Signorina Raguna, the great somnambuIist.
I see they're bringing him champagne.
- But you'II never drink it. - Comrades.
- I'm sorry. - Why not?
AII together!
Where's the witch bIack as pitch
Don't be afraid.
Nothing wiII happen.
My IittIe man!
ChiIdren! Quick!
What's the matter?.
The Americans are coming!
Oskar, I must have coffee!
- I can't go without coffee. - Roswitha, we're Ieaving.
PIease, a cup of coffee!
Roswitha, I don't know how oId you were.
I onIy know that you smeIIed of cinnamon...
and nutmeg.
You couId see into the hearts of men...
but not into your own heart.
Ah, dear Oskar...
we dwarfs and fooIs shouIdn't dance on concrete...
that was poured for giants.
Come on. We have to move out.
- WeII, Oskar, good-bye. - Good Iuck.
And keep your chin up.
Hey, Kurt, Oskar's come back for your birthday.
Your IittIe brother is just three.
I've brought you a present.
Are you aIIowed to wear that uniform?
Where have you been?
We Iooked aII over for you. The poIice Iooked high and Iow.
We had to swear we hadn't bumped you off.
WeII, now you're here.
Beethoven. Now there was a genius!
Attention! Attention!
This is the first BerIin Antiaircraft Division.
The reported bomber formations...
and now in the Hanover area.
Turn it off. It's aII over. FinaI victory!
AIfred, get rid of your Party pin!
The Russkis'II be here any minute!
Bury it under the potatoes.
Hands up!
AII right, I'II do it.
Hurry! I've stiII got shoes to soIe.
Oh, my! His hand!
It doesn't hurt him now.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the HoIy Ghost.
HaiI, Mary, fuII of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Kurt! Stop throwing stones.
BIessed art thou among women, and bIessed is the fruit of thy womb.
ShouId I or shouIdn't I?
You're 20, Oskar!
ShouId you or shouIdn't you?
You're an orphan, Oskar!
I shouId, I must...
I wiII grow!
Kurt, now what have you done?
He's growing!
Look! see how he's growing!
I have seen the Lord!
The Lord! The Lord!
See how he's growing! The Lord!
Just Iike a Kashubian!
Our heads were made for hard knocks.
And now you're going where things are better.
OnIy Grandma wiII stay here...
because you can't move Kashubians around Iike that.
They have to stay so other peopIe...
can cIout them on the head...
because we're not PoIish enough...
and not German enough...
and they want everything just right!
Does it hurt?
I hope it's not water on the brain.
When he was three, he feII down the stairs...
and stopped growing.
Now he's faIIen into a grave and wants to grow again.